Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
