If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
