She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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