she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
