the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
