Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
