In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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