I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
