Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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