I'm eating all of the evidence.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
