Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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