I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
