Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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