I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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