that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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