OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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