i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize