Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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