the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
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So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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