We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i drank out of a bidet.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize
