i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
