ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
