I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize