then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
