i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
