I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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