Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
