M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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