Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
