You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
