Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
this will be a night to untag.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
