I CAN MOONWALK!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
