I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
