the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
