Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
