I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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