i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
