Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
