I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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