I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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