just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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