i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
