I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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