There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I looked at my own cervix.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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