i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
