I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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