She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
