My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
