i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
