i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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