I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
