you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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