Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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