Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize