he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
