why didn't you poke me back
honey bunches of taint.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
