I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was confusing and full of hummus
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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