She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
