Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
