Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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